首先，是父權(quán)光環(huán)的褪色。曾經(jīng)的家庭里，“父親”像是一道高墻，富有威信，承擔(dān)著主要經(jīng)濟(jì)壓力。可在今天，信息的流動(dòng)徹底打破了家庭內(nèi)部的信息壁壘，孩子們能用各種方式觀察父親的一言一行。那些原本被包裹起來的軟肋，無處遁形。父親的失落、無力、甚至些許逃避責(zé)任，都 呈現(xiàn)在子女眼前。這種距離感被拉近后，很多光環(huán)也就自然消解了。

其次，交流的缺失讓父子關(guān)系變得單薄。從小到大，許多人都習(xí)慣了和母親溝通瑣事，父親似乎總是在“缺席”。其實(shí)，很多父親并不是故意不參與，只是表達(dá)方式還停留在上一代，他們不會(huì)用溫和的語言，而選擇用行動(dòng)關(guān)心。可是，這種“沉默”的愛，容易被誤讀成冷漠。等到子女有更多的比較維度，自然對比出“父親其實(shí)沒那么好”。

還有一個(gè)關(guān)鍵點(diǎn)，現(xiàn)代社會(huì)對于“成功”的標(biāo)準(zhǔn)套在每個(gè)人身上。很多父親就是普普通通的人，他們沒有豐厚財(cái)富，也沒有太多見識(shí)。孩子們見多識(shí)廣之后，對自己的父親反而生出“你也不過如此”的輕視。其實(shí)，這種想法很多時(shí)候忽略了父親默默承擔(dān)的小事——他為家庭提前喝下所有的委屈和壓力，為小家筑下底線。

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http://m.nutsec.cn/mnews/76099.shtml再深入一點(diǎn)，有些孩子之所以瞧不起父親，是因?yàn)闆]看到他們的“成長”。不少父親在成長的過程中，因?yàn)樯钪貕哼x擇停滯在某一個(gè)階段，他們被迫收起興趣，不再有人生規(guī)劃，好像生活只剩下一成不變的奔波。這種狀態(tài)，讓年輕人難以產(chǎn)生敬佩。可實(shí)際上，世界上大多數(shù)父親都只是普通人，他們唯一不普通的地方，就是扛下了自己能扛的那一份。

我們需要承認(rèn)，有一些父親確實(shí)言行不負(fù)責(zé)任，錯(cuò)失了撫養(yǎng)、陪伴、尊重孩子的機(jī)會(huì)。面對這樣的父愛缺失，子女心里有疙瘩、失望，乃至鄙視，這并非無緣無故。但更多時(shí)候，父愛很難完美。他們默默付出卻表達(dá)得笨拙，被子女誤認(rèn)為“沒有盡到責(zé)任”，這種誤會(huì)日積月累，最終成為彼此之間的隔閡。