作者 王永利
唐朝之所以強(qiáng)盛,不僅經(jīng)濟(jì)、文化達(dá)到最強(qiáng)盛,唐朝武力和影響力乃至王朝版圖也達(dá)到鼎盛之時(shí)。王維《觀獵》盡顯盛唐氣象與詩(shī)畫(huà)意境。堅(jiān)守“信達(dá)雅”準(zhǔn)則翻譯此詩(shī),就是忠于原詩(shī)風(fēng)骨,“信達(dá)雅”傳遞東方詩(shī)意的意美、韻美、形美,為全人類(lèi)提供有價(jià)值的精神滋養(yǎng)。
《觀獵》是唐代詩(shī)人王維的詩(shī)作。此詩(shī)前四句寫(xiě)射獵的過(guò)程,后四句寫(xiě)將軍傍晚收獵回營(yíng)的情景,寫(xiě)的雖是日常的狩獵活動(dòng),卻栩栩如生地刻畫(huà)出將軍的驍勇英姿,表現(xiàn)出盛唐軍事氣象與豪情,表達(dá)了詩(shī)人渴望效命疆場(chǎng)、期盼建功立業(yè)的思想感情。
《觀獵》
(唐)王維
風(fēng)勁角弓鳴,將軍獵渭城。
草枯鷹眼疾,雪盡馬蹄輕。
忽過(guò)新豐市,還歸細(xì)柳營(yíng)。
回看射雕處,千里暮云平。
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今天我們首先來(lái)看看著名漢學(xué)家宇文所安的譯作:
Watching the Hunt
By Wang Wei / Tr. Stephen Owen
The wind is strong, the horn-bow sings;
The general hunts east of Wei City.
The grass is sere, the hawk’s eye keen;
The snow is gone, the horse’s tread light.
Swiftly he passes New Feng Market;
He turns back to Willow Camp.
He looks back where he shot the eagle—
A thousand miles of dusk-clouds swell.
(Stephen Owen:<The Great Age of Chinese Poetry: The HighT’ang>, Yale University Press,1981,p.34)
具體分析如下:
優(yōu)點(diǎn):
一是,意象傳達(dá)較為準(zhǔn)確。“風(fēng)勁角弓鳴”譯為“The wind is strong, the horn-bowsings”,既保留了“風(fēng)勁”的力量感,又用“sings”生動(dòng)地表現(xiàn)了弓弦在風(fēng)中震響的聽(tīng)覺(jué)意象,富有詩(shī)意。“草枯鷹眼疾,雪盡馬蹄輕”譯為“The grass is sere, the hawk’s eye keen; /The snow is gone, the horse’s tread light.”,用詞簡(jiǎn)潔準(zhǔn)確,“keen”和“l(fā)ight”很好地傳達(dá)了原詩(shī)中的敏銳與輕快。尾句。將“射雕”這一具有英雄氣概的意象保留,并用“swell”形象地表現(xiàn)了暮云彌漫、遼闊蒼茫的景象,意境開(kāi)闊。
二是,句式結(jié)構(gòu)靈活,節(jié)奏感較強(qiáng)。譯文采用四行一節(jié)的形式,每行大致保持相近的音節(jié)數(shù),讀起來(lái)有節(jié)奏感,符合英語(yǔ)詩(shī)歌的閱讀習(xí)慣。如“Swiftly he passes New Feng Market; / He turns back to Willow Camp.”,用分號(hào)連接,流暢自然,體現(xiàn)了行獵的迅捷與場(chǎng)景轉(zhuǎn)換。
可商榷之處:
首先,地名處理略顯生硬。“新豐市”和“細(xì)柳營(yíng)”分別譯為“New Feng Market”和“Willow Camp”,雖然字面意思傳達(dá),但“細(xì)柳營(yíng)”原指漢代名將周亞夫的軍營(yíng),隱含軍紀(jì)嚴(yán)明、治軍有方之意,譯作“Willow Camp”未能傳達(dá)這一文化典故。
其次,韻律處理不夠統(tǒng)一。原詩(shī)是五言律詩(shī),講究平仄和對(duì)仗,譯文雖有一定節(jié)奏感,但并未采用嚴(yán)格的押韻或格律形式,部分地方讀起來(lái)略顯散文化。如“The general hunts east of Wei City”一句,節(jié)奏略顯拖沓,不如原詩(shī)簡(jiǎn)潔有力。
總之,是一篇學(xué)者型精準(zhǔn)嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)較為用心的譯作,適合給有一定中文基礎(chǔ)的英文讀者閱讀,并產(chǎn)生廣泛影響。在此,向這位漢學(xué)家致敬!
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接來(lái)下,我們看看許淵沖大師的譯作:
Hunting
By Wang Wei / Tr.Xu Yuanchong
Louder than gusty winds twang horn?backed bows;
Hunting outside the town the general goes.
Keener o'er withered grass his falcon's eye,
Lighter on melted snow his steed trots by.
No sooner is New Harvest Market passed,
Than he comes back to Willowy Camp at last.
He looks back where the vulture was shot down—
Only to find cloud on cloud spread on and on.
(許淵沖《許淵沖譯王維詩(shī)選》(漢英對(duì)照)中譯出版社(原中國(guó)對(duì)外翻譯出版公司),2021年1月,第72–73頁(yè))
具體分析如下:
優(yōu)點(diǎn):
一是,韻律工整,音美突出。譯文采用嚴(yán)謹(jǐn)?shù)挠⑿垭p行體(heroic couplet),每?jī)尚醒喉崳╞ows/goes, eye/by, passed/last, down/on),讀起來(lái)朗朗上口,符合英語(yǔ)詩(shī)歌的傳統(tǒng)審美。如首句“Louder than gusty winds twang horn-backed bows”,通過(guò)“twang”這一擬聲詞,生動(dòng)再現(xiàn)了弓弦的震顫聲,聽(tīng)覺(jué)效果極佳。
二是,用詞精煉,意美傳神。“Keener o'er withered grass his falcon's eye”中,“keener”比簡(jiǎn)單的“sharp”更精準(zhǔn),既表現(xiàn)了鷹眼的銳利,又暗含獵人急切搜尋獵物的心理。“Lighter on melted snow his steed trots by”中,“trots”一詞既符合馬蹄輕快的節(jié)奏,又保留了馬的動(dòng)態(tài)美,比常見(jiàn)的“runs”或“goes”更具畫(huà)面感。結(jié)尾意境升華“spread on and on”用詞簡(jiǎn)單但意境悠遠(yuǎn),與王維原詩(shī)“千里暮云平”中遼闊、靜謐的黃昏景象高度契合。
可商榷之處:
首先,地名意譯可能丟失部分文化信息。“新豐市”譯為“New Harvest Market”,采用了意譯(新豐收的市場(chǎng))。雖然便于英文讀者理解,但“新豐”是古地名(今西安臨潼區(qū)),與“harvest”并無(wú)直接關(guān)聯(lián),這種轉(zhuǎn)化雖巧妙,但嚴(yán)格來(lái)說(shuō)犧牲了歷史地理的真實(shí)性。
其次,為押韻而微調(diào)語(yǔ)義。“Louder than gusty winds twang horn-backedbows”中,“l(fā)ouder than”為了與下句押韻而置于句首,雖然語(yǔ)法成立,但原詩(shī)“風(fēng)勁角弓鳴”強(qiáng)調(diào)的是風(fēng)聲與弓聲的共鳴,而非單純的音量比較,這種處理稍顯偏離。“Only to find”帶有一定的意外或失望色彩(常用于發(fā)現(xiàn)不如預(yù)期的情況),而原詩(shī)尾聯(lián)更多的是壯闊與沉靜,情感基調(diào)略有出入。
總之,這是一篇高水平的經(jīng)典譯作,在“音美”和“形美”上尤為出色,適合英語(yǔ)讀者作為詩(shī)歌來(lái)欣賞。在此,向許大師致敬。
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紙上得來(lái)終覺(jué)淺,絕知此事要躬行。本人不揣谫陋,斗膽試譯此詩(shī),向漢學(xué)家和大師致敬。
A Hunt at Sunset
by Wang Wei
Translated by WangYongli
The horned bow singssharp with the wind's wild breath,
The general hunts east of Weicheng, sky clear beneath.
On withered grass, thefalcon's keen eyes know,
Their prey; on melted snow, his swift steed goes.
Past Xinfeng Market,no trace is found,
To Willow Barracks he wheels his warriors around.
He looks back to whereonce the eagle fell—
Where miles oftranquil clouds peacefully dwell.
(Note: Weichengwas once the capital of the Qin Dynasty and served as the capital and key areaaround the capital for 13 dynasties including the Zhou, Qin, Han, and TangDynasties.)
我力圖忠于原詩(shī),句句對(duì)應(yīng)王維《觀獵》,敘事、動(dòng)作、意境完整不走樣。語(yǔ)言典雅克制,無(wú)口語(yǔ)化、無(wú)冗余,英詩(shī)語(yǔ)感強(qiáng)。韻律流暢自然:韻腳整齊,讀來(lái)朗朗上口。結(jié)尾意境升華,既對(duì)應(yīng)“千里暮云平”,又自帶英文詩(shī)歌的靜美余韻。
當(dāng)然,本人才疏學(xué)淺,譯作存在許多不足,尚祈方家指正,本人愿意盡綿薄之力,為中華文化出海減少“文化折扣”、傳遞東方意境貢獻(xiàn)點(diǎn)滴力量。
今天我們通過(guò)三英譯版本互鑒,能讓海外讀者讀懂唐詩(shī)氣韻,感受中華文脈底蘊(yùn),讓經(jīng)典詩(shī)詞跨越語(yǔ)言隔閡,成為文化出海的鮮活載體,增強(qiáng)中華文化國(guó)際傳播力與影響力。(王永利)
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